Welcome to Dixie’s Couch
Now on Google Maps!
Not all who lounge are lost. Some are just… enduring.
At the intersection of hospitality and hazard sits Dixie’s Couch — not so much a piece of furniture as it is an emotional journey. This is not a couch you relax on. This is a couch that challenges you, that asks you who you really are. And then gives you a cramp.
The Options Are Questionable:
Green Couch
Painted in the wistful tone of early spring, this verdant relic is technically a couch — if you ignore the fact that it’s shorter than most vertebrates. For those who dream of sleep but settle for seated reflection, this is your throne. Ideal for philosophers, insomniacs, and anyone under 5’3”.
The Brown Couch
No cushion, no mercy. An upholstered dare. Designed (allegedly) for sitting, it instead offers a masterclass in regret. If IKEA and Dante’s Inferno had a collaboration, this would be the showroom centerpiece.
Other Accommodations:
Should the couches be occupied (or simply feared), fret not. Dixie’s Expanded Hospitality Program™ includes such luxurious locales as:
- The Library (VIP only, must show proof of recent existential crisis)
- The Floor (now with optional blanket!)
- The Basement (comes with ambiance and potential raccoons)
- The Bathtub (BYO pillow)
- And for the truly bold… under the porch.
✨ Reviews
“I came. I sat. I regretted.”
– Someone who tried the brown couch
“I didn’t think a couch could make me feel emotionally vulnerable.”
– Philosopher, post-Green Couch
“Honestly? The bathtub was fine.”
– Future Airbnb guest
But don’t take our word for it. Over 10 mediocre Google reviews is no small feat. Read all Google Reviews!
Jake Browning
As your grandson I am sure I have slept on this couch at some point in my life. The fact I cannot remember and my guilt of not having a musical talent may be the reason for my 5 star review!
See review
Janet Gallagher
Having lived at this house, I didn’t have to sleep on my own couch – but alas there was much to see in who else slept on my couch! How about waking up to go to school, stumbling to the bathroom and seeing 35 Yupik eskimos splayed across our floor and couches. Having come in the middle of the night. Or the Russian diplomat that was relegated to our couch on many occasions….. as well as some illegal Russians… Read full review
Jaylene Belcher
Over 40 years ago I was a part of getting this couch from Lew D (if you know-you know.). This couch should have gone to the dump then and today should either be submitted to the Smithsonian or Quantico for DNA. I don’t think it’s cool to do a go-fund me for a couch but maybe we could do a dollar a night and get her a new couch soon… for those of us who want to save our backs and would prefer that couch not tell any stories.
See review
Mary Abo
Fortunately, I never had to sleep on Dixie’s couch because I think I have an elevated position being her friend since 2nd grade. She has allowed me to sleep in her upstairs library where towering bookshelves loom and threaten to fall on me. However, I can attest to the comfort of the blue velvet couch in the cosy nook which resembles a jungle because no one dares to trim the leaves. She has never refused any knock on the door for refuge. For that reason, anyone who chooses this bnb will find a wide variety of dining guests from all over the world.
See review
Linda Buckley
Years ago when my house was rented, I arrived on the ferry with several new friends. I invited them to Dixie’s. It was the middle of the night so we crawled in an open window and crashed out on the basement floor. The next morning I went upstairs and asked Dixie what was for breakfast. She was a little surprised to see me but said, “pancakes”! Then I mentioned I had 10 friends in the basement who were also interested in pancakes. We had a lovely breakfast and they all left. I stayed a week.
See review
And many more. Read all Google Reviews!
Why Upgrade?
We could. But then what would we complain about?
Besides, where else can you:
- Contemplate your life choices mid-nap?
- Trade spinal alignment for spiritual growth?
- Sleep like a Victorian orphan with flair?
Book Your Stay Today
Just don’t ask where you’ll be sleeping. We don’t know either.